Sunday, December 2, 2007

Weekend spent at home watching movies and reading fanficts and playing CS.
Stardust, Scary Movie, Epic Movie etc.
Bloody dull weekend.

I hate how you still get me, how my heart beats faster and my hands feel colder when you say hi. I hate how some part of me still hopes and dreams of the impossible, how that part of be still believes in miracles and dreams and fairytales and happy endings. I hate that part of myself, and try to supress it, but then you have to go and say hello, and I fall all over again. Its strange how you can read me like an open book, when all I am to you's just a line, not worth a second look. You chat with me, it feels like old times again, then suddenly I get no reply and I realise you've gone off again without letting me know. I feel used, the second choice, the one whom you can always rely on to be there for whenever you feel like you have noone else. I hate how I can still feel this way after so long, its supposed to mean nothing. Times like these, I can't help but think of the first song you sent me, your emo song, and I realise how true the lyrics are.
Oh how hard the asinine fall.

This is the place in my heart
This is the place where I'm falling apart
Isn't this just where we met?
And is this the last chance that I'll ever get?
I wish I was lonely
Instead of just only-
Crystal and see-through and not enough to you

Cause you don't see me
And you don't need me
And you don't love me
The way I wish you would

And the time you said that this is forever..